Me too!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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