i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
