Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize