Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My life is pants optional.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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