So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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