dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
