We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
