the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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