i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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