That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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