No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
