why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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