i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am available for nakedness
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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