glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hippo gnu deer
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
