I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize