I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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