its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
