You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
