you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
