I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
