Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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