She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
