After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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