Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You are the jesus of drinking
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
