i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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