had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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