the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
