i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
