Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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