guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
