i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
When are your genitals available?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
