im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize