We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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