I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
