I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
