just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
