i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
