We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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