If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
