Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
