Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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