I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
