I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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