did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
