just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
