Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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