I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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