McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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