Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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