all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
