I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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