This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
