there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
