all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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