I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
