Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
