I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
