All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
