hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
