Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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