No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This is my gift to your gina
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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