I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
