I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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