Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How external is "for external use only"?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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