yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
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