you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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