can we get nightvision for the apartment?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
