So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just pee around me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
