You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
